Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
