I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
