North Korea, Best Korea!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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