my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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