So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
