Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
