Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
