atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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