If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
