I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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