He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
