On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize