I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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