No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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