I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
