Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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