i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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