she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
