everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
