the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
