if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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