I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
