i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
