You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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