scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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