Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize