i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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