Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
