i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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