My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
