You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
