i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
