she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
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She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
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Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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