We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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