Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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