I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
