I can text with my tongue
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
