2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
