I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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