Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
