You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
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