I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
