Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
