Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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