if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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