Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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