So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
