what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
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