All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
