It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
