Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
