The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
