I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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