I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
