I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
