Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You are a genius and a whore.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
