I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
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She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
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