you traded sex for a burrito?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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