u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Randomize
