Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
