We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
