i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
