i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
