I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
