No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize